Don’t you just hate it when your significant other tells you no? This step by step how to will teach you how to get your live-in lover to do anything you want them to using a cognitive psychology. We learned four ways in class to manipulate the simple minds of our significant others (SO) to get them to do anything and everything we want. We do this using availability, anchoring and adjustment, representativeness, and competence. The culmination of these cognitive mind games are called heuristics of judgement and decision making. Using these cognitive mind games will spoil you in that, you will always have your way.
Availability can be used by substituting an old memory for a new event. Let’s say you wanna go to that pirate themed circus ballet coming into town and you need to convince your SO. You can tell them that it was kinda like that super cool break dance competition you went to last spring or another event that will help them retrieve those previous events. It’s hard to imagine an abstract event, so giving them a familiar event would increase your chances of getting them to do whatever you want to do!
Anchoring and adjustment can be used by creating an initial judgement (anchoring) but keeping in mind that the individual making the judgement will change that value to how they see fit (adjustment). While buying tickets for that pirate themed circus ballet coming into town, of course you want good seats. You could ask your SO, ‘how willing are you to pay $1,000 a seat?’ And according to anchoring and adjustment, aiming for a higher price range will allow for them to make adjustments and say, ‘……maybe $150’ when in reality, the seat you wanted only costed $100, win. This heuristic works for both anteing up and down.
Representativeness can be used by betting on the fact that your SO isn’t very smart and has poor intuition and judgement. It’s ok it happens to the best of us, but this time, it works in your favor! Representativeness is when we judge based upon how much an example resembles (physically) to the category but the possibilities of it being an incorrect representation are under weighed. For example, getting your SO to get to that pirate themed circus ballet coming into town, you could show them pictures of the performers doing breakdance tricks. It seems as if those pictures would be a good representation of the show so your SO underweights the possibility that it could be a crazy pirate themed circus ballet while still having the slight possibility that you could possibly be going to a breakdance show.
Last but not least of these cognitive manipulation heuristics is competency. Competency is when you allow the individual to feel as if they have control of the situation, when it’s just an illusion because the events are actually random. Similar to gamblers fallacy. Get your SO to go to that pirate themed circus ballet coming into town by letting them win a couple fake fights nearing the show date. Your SO just overestimated their chance of winning by going to this show (in your eyes they would be, duh, pirate themed circus ballet). This heuristic works for losing as well, that the individual thinks they have a higher chance of winning if they have lost so many times.
*These heuristics of judgement and decision making aren’t proven to be 100% effective.